How would you feel if someone came into yours and your husbands life that knew information about you that only a fly on the wall would know?
first things out this persons mouth is “I want to fuck you”? to your husband?
Constantly taking pictures of your husband?
or better yet even Hurt themselves and blame someone else to have you feel sorry for them?
Some people would call it insecurity or being to sensitive. I call it lack of respect for themselves and it translates in the relationship.
But for me personally, It felt surreal. It was also a weird time in my life because I was jumping out of my own comfort zone and living behind doing things I’ve never done before to get stuff I never had before.
This person that initially came into our world for our blog (Us Under the assumption) because their partner just passed away. We invited this person over after chatting online for a month or so and one of the first things out of this persons mouth was “I want to
fuck you” pointing at my husband.
It kinda pissed me off because I thought this meet was about the blog and not a fuck session. I know ALL people will not like me, be attracted to me, but it seemed like an agenda beyond the blog.
After a month of us all hanging out, I kept getting this uneasy vibe about this little fatal attraction unfolding. So, I stopped the relationship a month into it. My husband called this person and while on the phone, this person started crying and begging for us to stay in his life (Only one month into the relationship.)
It took me a few days to give in. I mean, I am working on growing at the same time this person came into my life. I felt it was a challenge or a test so to speak and I told myself this is the perfect time to challenge myself. Yes, even with having the thought
of him knowing so much about me and where this is going.
We hung out, worked out, drank, smoked, found out this person’s sister worked for DMV (this is when I knew how this person knew so much about me), wasted time watching tv, helped with some
of the psychiatric issues. This was all during the time I was doing a radio show, (which this person helped by taking picture with his own camera, knowing we wanted them taking with ours) growing into the new me, prioritizing my own path, setting goals to educate the youth just as much as the elders and quitting World Of Warcraft addiction of 16 hour days.
My husband and I would constantly argue (was more me than him) because I felt hanging out with this person was no different than me playing World Of Warcraft. Which was another argument before this person came into our life, but I grew my most while being addicted to WoW.
I control myself and continue to keep this Toxic, heavy agenda relationship going to see If it will unfold the way I knew it did one month into it. If I’m making a conscious effort to be a different person, then I am not going to live behind the scenario in my head.
Sure enough it did. This person would hurt themselves and then claim they were hurt by a trick they had over. Just to have my husband distracted by feeling sorry for him (because this person had feelings for my husband.) The trick was a “friend” of mine and I would ask him to hear it from the horses mouth.
Friend said “No Cisco, what would make you think that I would hurt this person?” I left it at that and changed the subject. A few weeks to a month pass and the same scenario happened but with another trick, also a “friend.”
So, I started saying to my hubby “ummm, are you not seeing or noticing the pattern here?” This is where my quote “If I were in the business to convince it would be my career.” Because I sure felt it was becoming my career in my own relationship.
But he was to involved with what this person was giving us. By this point this person was showering us with gifts, always paying for dinner, lending us money (which we paid back with interest. Not including the medical help I gave this person that the psychiatrist could not do.)
Days pass after those two incidents and there was always something wrong with this person being hurt. By either their sister, a trick, a best friend that they were supposedly in business together with.
There was always a story before entering the door to have us feeling sorry for this person, but the overall nasty pattern that this person had and was putting out was not changing at all.
This is not including this person getting their sister to spy on a guy that was in a relationship with another guy. To be a home wrecker. (Which I connected to in the beginning of it all) But it takes two to be a home wrecker.
This person even destroyed a flower that hubby wanted to use as a puppet rode because he was so jealous and could not see us happy. Even though this person was obsessed.
A year into it, I had enough. There was hypothetical scenarios that came up verbally and I was becoming the bad guy in it.
At that point, I had enough and cut all ties. A month into it all of a sudden things started happening, the radio took off 50,000+ people heard it. The new loft space was taking shape. Hubby started noticing (finally) that this person was more of distraction than an asset to compliment what was going on.
Fast forwarding a year later and I have people on my Facebook friends list that sided with this person and now are the best of friends. My advice to people, there are two sides to every story. Don’t assume, especially if it has nothing to do with you.
All I tell myself is I am a true friend. A friend that will listen and hear, a friend that will help you loose weight to stop hearing and listening to you complain about it, a friend that will not make you laugh like the next guy, but will give you my Honest opinion that
will truly help your situation. If that’s what people really want as a Friend. I know I do.
No More Toxic Relationships, Toxic relationship 101, See The Signs, Don’t base your relationships on Sex. It will back fire. Love and Let Love.